Parrot

A woman goes into a pet shop looking for a parrot. The assistant
shows her a beautiful African Grey parrot.
"What about this one, Madam? A beautiful bird and it's an absolute
steal at only $20."

"Why is it that cheap?" the woman asks.

"Well", replies the assistant, "it used to live in a brothel and as
a result its language is a touch fruity"

"Oh, I don't mind that", said the woman, making her mind up, "I'm
broad minded and it'll be a laugh having a profane parrot". So
saying, she buys the parrot and takes him home.

Once safely in his new home, the parrot looks around and squawks at
the woman. "F**k me, a new brothel and a new madam".

"I'm not a madam and this is not a brothel" scolds the woman trying
not to laugh.

A little later the woman's two teenage daughters arrive home.

Un f**king-believable. A new brothel, a new madam, and now two new
prostitutes" says the parrot when he sees the daughters.

"Mum, tell your parrot to shut up, we're not prostitutes" complain
the girls, but they all see the funny side and have a laugh at their
new pet.

A short while later, the woman's husband Dave comes home.

In f**king-credible, a new brothel, a new madam, new prostitutes,
but the same old clients. How ya doin', Dave?"

Jokes...!

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him
after the attack on the Pentagon:
" I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy."
But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have
copies of everything."
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Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you.
It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great bldgs...
I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that........
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!
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Vajpayee and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the
barman, "Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?"
The barman says "Yep, that's them." So the guy walks over and says,"Hello,
what are you guys doing?"
Bush says, "We're planning world war 3"
The guy says, "Really? What's going to happen?"
And Vajpayee says, "Well, we're going to kill 14 million Pakistanis and
one bicycle repairman."
And the guy exclaimed, "A bicycle repairman?!!!"
Vajpayee turns to Bush and says, " See, I told you no-one would worry
about the 14 million Pakistanis!"
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Santa & Banta

Once Banta Singh attended an Interview.

Interviewer : Give me the opposite words.
Banta Singh : Ok
Interviewer : Made in India
Banta Singh : Destroyed in Pakistan
Interviewer : Keep it Up
Banta Singh : Put it Down
Interviewer : Maxi Mum
Banta Singh : Mini Dad
Interviewer : Enough! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Don't take my seat
Interviewer : Idiot! Take your Seat
Banta Singh : Clever! Don't take my Seat
Interviewer : I say you get out!
Banta Singh : You didn't say I come in
Interviewer : I reject you!
Banta Singh : You Appoint me
Interviewer: ........!!!!!!!
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Santa: What is another difference between a mosquito and a fly?
Banta: A fly can fly but a mosquito cannot mosquito.
======================

Banta: When did George Washington die?
Santa: two days before his funeral.
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Banta: Tell me five FEROCIOUS animals you can think of........
Santa: 3 Lions and 2 Tigers.
======================

Banta Singh was in court charged with parking his car in a restrictedarea.
The Judge asked him if he had anything to say in his defense.
"They should not put up such misleading notices", said Banta. "Itsaid,FINE FOR PARKING HERE"
======================

Santa Singh and Banta Singh were always boasting of their parents'achievements to each other.

Santa Singh : Have you ever heard of the Suez Canal?
Banta Singh : Yes I have.
Santa Singh : Well, my father dug it.
Banta Singh : That's nothing, have you ever heard of Dead Sea?
Santa Singh : Yes I have.
Banta Singh : Well, my father killed it.