Seat Belt

The National Highway Safety Council has done extensive testing on a newly designed seat belt. Results show that accidents can be reduced by as much as 45% when the belt is properly installed. Correct installation is illustrated below:

Camera Phone

The Test

One night 4 MBAstudents were boozing till late night and didn't study for the
Test which was scheduled for the next day.
In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty and
Weird as they could with grease and dirt.
They then went up to the dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last
Night and on their return the tyre of their car burst and they had to push the
Car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.
Then dean was a just person so he said that you can have the retest after 3
days. They said they will be ready by that time. On the third day they appeared
before the dean. The dean said that this was a special condition test. All four
were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test.
They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last three days. The test
Consisted of 2 questions with total of 100 marks.
Question .1. Write down your names -----( 2 marks )
Question .2. Which tyre burst? -------( 98 marks )

Bill Gates & God

Bill Gates met God, and God said, "Well, Bill, I'm really confused onthis one. I'm not sure whether to send you to Heaven or to Hell.After all,you enormously helped society by putting a computer in almostevery home in the world, and yet you created that ghastly Windows. I'mgoing to doSomething I've never done before. I'm going to let you decide where youwant to go."Bill Gates said, "What's the difference between the two?"God said, "It might help you decide if you took a peek at both place.Shall we look at Hell first?" Bill was amazed. He saw a clean, white sandybeach with clearwaters.There were thousands of beautiful men and women running around, playingin the water, laughing and frolicking about. The sun was shining and thetemperature was perfect. "This is great!" said Bill. "If this is Hell, Ican't wait to see Heaven." God said, "Let's go!" and off they went toHeaven. Bill saw puffy white clouds in a beautiful blue sky, with angelsdrifting about playing harps and singing. It was nice, but surelynot as enticing as Hell.Bill thought for only a brief moment and rendered his decision."God, I do believe I would prefer to go to Hell.""As you wish," said God. Two weeks later, God decided to check up onthe late billionaire to see how things were going. He found Billshackled to a wall, screaming amidst the hot flames in a dark cave. He wasbeingtortured by demons with pitchforks."How ya doin', Bill?" asked God.Bill responded with anguish and despair, "This is awful! This is not whatI expected at all!What happened to the beach and the beautiful women playing in the water?""Oh, that," said God. "That was the screen saver."

Hot & Cold.... lolz

An elderly married couple scheduled their medical examination on the
same day so that they could answer any questions the doctor might have concerning their partner.
After the husband's exam, the doctor then said to the elderly man,
"You appear to be in good health. Do you have any medical concern that you would like to ask me?"
"In fact, I do," said the old man. "After I have sex with my wife the first time, I am usually hot and sweaty, and then, after I have sex with my wife the second time, I'm usually cold and chilly."
The doctor said that he would examine the wife, and then report back to the man.
After examining the elderly lady, the doctor said: "Everything appears to be fine. Do you have any medical concerns that you would like to discuss with me?"
The lady replied that she had no questions or concerns.
The doctor then asked: "Your husband had an unusual concern. He claims that he is usually hot and sweaty after having sex the first time with you, and then cold and chilly after the second time. Do you know why?"
"Oh that crazy old nut", she replied. "That's because the first time is usually in July and the second time is usually in December!"

Wonderful definitions of designations at office.

1) Project Manager is a Person who thinks Nine women can deliver a baby in One month.

2) Developer is a Person who thinks it will take 18 months to deliver a baby.

3) Onsite Coordinator is one who thinks single woman can deliver nine babies in one month.

4) Client is the one who doesn't know why he wants a baby.

5) Marketing Manager is a person who thinks he can deliver a baby even if no man and woman are available.

6) Resource Optimization Team thinks they don't need a man or woman; they'll produce a child with zero resources.

7) Documentation Team thinks they don't care whether the child is delivered, they'll just document 9 months.



AND LAST BUT NOT THE LEAST ...........

8) Quality Auditor is the person who is never happy with the PROCESS to produce a baby and tries to redefine it ....

Hi...

Hi all.... I thought of starting a dedicated blog to share some of the jokes I get via EMail. Enjoy....